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It wasn’t until recently, and more specifically, when my first-born started school that I began to consider the DILF (Dad I’d Like to F***). When I looked around the playground during the hell that is school drop-off I was met with men looking straight down at the tarmac, wearing either deeply synthetic suits or – worse – Crocs who seemed overwhelmed and out of their depth. Not attractive. I can smell their weakness.
But then I slowly started to come across the holy grail. The perfect DILF. Well dressed, balancing patience and authoritativeness with his offspring, who could hold a conversation comfortably and in doing so reveal that he still had ambitions beyond cracking his PB at last year’s dads’ race.
It made me realise that, actually, there’s a formula for being a DILF – a series of commands that you can program yourself with to become the king of the playground.
It starts, of course, with clothes. To fully maximise your DILF appeal, the following items must be acquired. A uniform, if you will.
What a DILF wears
• A soft, worn-in 100 per cent cotton knit jumper. Good knitwear is the ultimate turn on. It’s something about the soft touch and relaxed fit. Always, always go for a 100 per cent natural fibre, it shows your inner elegance without looking like a show off.
£140 via John Smedley
• Denim shirt. Plain, well fitting. Goes with anything. Classic, stylish, and unassuming.
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